“The back porch” is a place that will always be in my life. Everywhere I go it’s the first place I scout out. Sit outside more.
August 25, 2010
August 18, 2010
Walk The Line
2005
I was living in Dallas, writing music, and playing the occasional show. I had a good band comprised of greater friends and we were out to make it big. “Walk The Line”, the Johnny Cash bio pic, was released, I watched it in the theatre, and came out entertained. I liked it but had no idea what it really stood for. I still don’t really know for a fact what it stands for but I do finally have experience that helps me understand the title.
2010
I’ve been a full time touring artist for two years now, writing on a daily basis, playing up to four times a week, falling more in love with my work everyday, and hoping desperately to contribute to the shaping of my culture. My job is wonderful and filled with amazing experiences. After I explain to folks what I do, the most common response is “you’re living the dream”. Many of you reading this think this about my life and although yes, I am living a dream, it’s not all lollipops and rainbows.
The gig is hard and very trying on my soul.
This goes for any artist.
2009
Michael Jackson passed away.
Michael has gone down in history as the greatest performer to ever live. He was a genius and reinvented the way you and I approach pop music. His shows were off the charts explosive. He not only knew music front to back but he knew how to connect and ultimately, make us move. I don’t care what “genre” you listen to, when you hear a Michael Jackson tune you know it. And let’s be honest, you move.
We dance, we sing along, and it honestly just feels so damn good.
But… Michael changed his appearance in drastic ways, he locked himself away from the world, and he was caught up in a couple complicated scandals.
Did this all stem from who he was as a person or did this stem from who he became because of his work?
(I will need your patience for this discussion.)
I didn’t know Michael but I don’t think it’s bold of me to say that he lost sight of who he was IN his work.
I was raised in a wonderful, loving, and supportive family. I was taught to be strong, to follow my dreams, and to be an honest God-fearing man. My folks are still together (and are madly in love) after 27 years, and all my siblings are beautiful, creative, and (frankly) bad ass people.
Then there is me.
Like I said, I’ve been on the road full time for two years now. Many days of my week I wake up asking myself “how did I get here?”.
I have at least three drinks a night. I am a full time smoker. I was unfaithful to the love of my life multiple times. I’ve learned to lie through, cheat in, and manipulate almost every situation I’ve found myself in. These things are just the surface.
By no means am I blaming my behavior on my what I’ve chosen to do for my living… but then again, I am.
Walk
The
Line.
There is a fine line that all of us walk. A line that separates the dream that we crave from the reality that we need. Both sides are crucial to our make up but living only one side will become our downfall.
This tiny little line holds our lives in balance and though it can destroy us, it is everything we need.
I long to be the greatest writer. But at what cost? Never love anyone fully? Miss out on the simple joys of life?
I long to be a great man. But at what cost? Forfeit my dreams?
Is there a way to be both?
These questions haunt me daily and I wonder if I will ever know the answer.
It is simultaneously both beautiful and tragic what art does to its creator.
I say this not only as an artist but from what I know about God.
I’m not Johnny Cash. I’m not Michael Jackson. I only know a glimpse into their lives. But I do worry about my life in the coming years. If I continue down this road of life in the same way I have these past two years who will I become?
Please know this is not a depressing post. I’m not crying right now. I’m only painting a picture of what I know to be true.
Balance.
I pray for balance in my own life and I hope you pray for the same in yours.
Whether you know it or not you are walking the line. Some of us will stay on it and others of us will fall to one side.
Stay the course friends. Know the Truth. Pray for me as I seek It as well.
Be well. See you soon.
David
May 31, 2010
Rock The Jukebox
To help with travel costs I’m relaunching “Jukebox”. Request a song you’d like me to sing (mine or another artists), donate some cash, then I will record a video and dedicate it to you.
If you’d like to help go to www.paypal.com click “send money” then send to sweetworld@mac.com. I take donations anywhere from $5-$500. In the space provided write the name of the song as well as the artist then click “send”.
I did this last summer and it helped in huge ways. As always thanks for supporting.
David
April 24, 2010
A Phase
The last entry I wrote has been heavy on my heart the past 24 hours. I’m realizing (slowly) that I’m not discontent with my place in the art community by rather my place in the world. I wear the statement “Music is my life” like a t-shirt. Casual. I have no quams with the statement when the reality is that I should. I’ve refused to accept so many great things into my existence because I fear they will disrupt my path. There is nothing casual about this. My attitude towards many “distactions” will lead me to live an empty life. That truth is a hard one to acknowledge. I’ve held on to the lesson I hear over an over that as long as I do what I love I will be happy. If you fall into that same place, hear me now… That is a lie. Here is why. That philosophy is wrapped up in nothing but ourselves and when we (I) pursue living in this way we (I) am not living at all. I’m simply only breathing. I wonder if as a 26 year old man it is too late to turn around. We develop patterns and at some point those patterns become us.
I’ve always said I want to be a great writer but maybe I should learn first how to be a great human. I pray that it is not too late but that, like a rebellious teenager, it’s just a phase.
April 23, 2010
My Means May Be My End
I’m worn out. I fear the world is too big for me and my dreams. Write, play, sleep. That is my pattern and will be until I breathe no more. As exciting as that may sound it has become a prison. A cage I locked myself in before swallowing the key. Show after show, some good most not, I wonder if there is an end. Maybe life is only means with the end only found in glory with The Lord. So much of me refuses to believe that though. Of course resting in the presence of our creator is the ultimate end but there must, has to, be a finish line here; contentment. The business man in me is jumping up and down frantically waiving his hands for people to notice him, people to see him, for people to understand he has something new and worthwhile to offer, while the artist within whispers to calm down, breathe, and embrace the now. He comforts me in the struggle reminding me that this is Life. Is this fight I feel present for a reason or is it a result of my impatience? Will I ever know? I can’t recall where I heard this lyric but lately it has resonated throughout my entire self; “I’m too young to feel this old”. If I am in fact “young” and I do feel “old”, how will I feel in ten years? In two? Even as I write this entry I know that it too will be lost among the mass of art, blogs, noise… life. Like my work this entry will only be seen by a few and I’m beginning to wonder if that is enough to keep going.
April 9, 2010
I Think I Like You
Below is a link to a brand spankin’ new recording of my song “I Think I like You”. I recorded this two days ago at my good friend and fellow writer Brian Douglas Phillips’ Rattle Trap Studio.
I’m very proud of this song and how it has been translated into a recording. Take it, for free, and enjoy it. I get the feeling this tune has opened a new door in my mind and I’m looking forward to walking through it.
April 5, 2010
Noisetrade
I’ve had a big struggle in my career with this idea of “free music”. Questions like, “How do I make money to live?” or “How do I recoup the money spent on my record?” spread through my mind like wildfire. Money, especially in my line of work, is hard to come by so why would I make it harder on myself and give out my work for free?
Well I still don’t have a definite answer to this question but despite my loss for an explanation I decided to jump on Noisetrade anyway and post my record for free. That’s right, free. For 48 hours I will allow anyone to access my page, enter their e-mail address, and instantly have my record downloaded onto their computer. As scary as it was to make this decision, my fear has since subsided. In the last 12 hours I’ve had 154 downloads. 154 people that couldn’t purchase my record now have it and have at least listened to it one time through. This gets me excited.
Let’s do the math though (just for kicks). If I were to sell 154 records at $12 a pop I would have brought in $1,848. That’s a lot of money. So all that to say… “You’re welcome”.
My goal with this is to reach as many people as possible. Being completely independent, like I am, makes it extremely difficult to reach large numbers of folks. With Noisetrade I’ve been able to tap into a new group of people that might’ve taken me a year (no exaggeration) to reach.
On top of that, I want to give back in any way that I can. Many of you have come out numerous times to my shows and have purchased all my records. You’ve even gone a step further and dragged your friends along who have also purchased my records. I know earlier I said “you’re welcome” but you can also consider this decision a “thank you”.
Now if you would like to go one more step further, here is what you can do for me.
If you have downloaded the album for free, or even purchased the album, and if you enjoy the work and believe in what I do, spread the word. Tell any and everyone you can about what I do and send them my way. I’m hoping by the end of the 48 hours (which ends at 5pm on Tuesday April 6th) I have had at least 500 of my records downloaded from Noisetrade. Now what would be even more amazing than that is if after the 48 hours are up I get 500 SELLS from my website.
It is possible with your help.
I love what I do and I don’t ever want it to end. With or without money I will always write, I will always sing, and I will always try and find someone to listen. Thank you for listening to me for as long as you have. Please don’t ever stop. Tell your friends about my work and let’s all go together.
Free download: www.noisetrade.com/davidramirez
Purchase: www.davidramirezmusic.com
Cheers,
David
March 16, 2010
The Confession Tour
My belief in God is not necessarily common knowledge. Many of you know me from my music and though this music may be laced with questions and hints regarding my faith in God, it is all still very vague. My relationship with Him has been full of twists and turns, ups and downs, and curses and praises. However this relationship is in fact very real.
I’ve detached myself in recent years from many of my fellow believers and from the entire universal church. I will leave the reasons for doing so private but know that with detaching myself life has been harder and left me more exhausted.
Within the past few months I have been compelled to join my brothers and sisters in life once again in as many ways as possible. Which brings me to my reason for writing this entry.
I am setting up a tour, in July, where I will only be playing for churches and the congregations which occupy them. This is called “The Confession” Tour. It’s time for me to bring what I do to my family. One reason for me backing away from the Church was because I couldn’t/wasn’t allowed to be myself. I wasn’t free to have the pain I feel be present. I wasn’t free to struggle in the ways that I do. Call it what you will, put a term to it, but I don’t care. I’m over it. I am open and honest with the entire world but have yet to be with the Church. The time has come for me to do this.
So, as dramatic as this all may sound, don’t let it be. This is a very simple tour, like every other, but instead of playing my music and sharing my life in bars I will be doing so in churches.
If you know my music you probably feel that this venture may get awkward at times. Well so be it. I grew up surrounded by christian music and it didn’t help my life in any way. I had no artist to look up to that could break down the reality of life for me in their music. I don’t claim to have this power but I do know that I don’t butter anything up.
Now don’t worry. I won’t be showing up with a handle of Jack and reeking of alcohol and I’ll be choosing my language a little more carefully but I’ll be me. Which as sad as it is to say, I haven’t fully been me in this environment. I’ve been afraid to.
If you’re interested in doing this with me, let me know. If you have a church home that you’d like me to come play for send me a message at davidramirezinfo@yahoo.com and we’ll discuss it. It is my guess that many places will not be on board but if you feel that yours would, then let’s do it.
Cheers,
David
March 8, 2010
I’m Not Going To Add Green
As I wait for a video to compress, there are some thoughts I’d like to share.
I feel like I’ve reached a place in my career where I am forced to draw a line in the sand. A deep, long, noticeable line that sets apart the people longing to be entertained by me from the people that want to journey with me.
I am writer, and like most writers I have a story to tell; something I want someone to hear. Now I understand not everyone cares to hear my story so if that’s the case, don’t come to the show. Please don’t show up with an agenda of your own and try and get me to adhere to it. One of the most beautiful things about a live music performance is that every night the performer, using the same songs, has the ability to tell a different story. What I love about being a listener is allowing myself to open up to whatever that story may be.
I want to be taken on a journey.
Picture yourself in a museum. You’re in that long corridor surrounded by incredible works of art. One canvas catches your attention. You slowly walk toward it and stop just a few feet away. You fall in love. This painting may be one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. Suddenly, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and come face to face with the painter. The piece in which you’ve just fallen in love with was created by the persons hand you are currently shaking. You are in awe. Perplexed and humbled. Then you speak. This is what you say.
“It’s so great to meet you. Do you think you could add a little green to this painting for me? Green is my favorite color and I would just really love to see a little green in this. Thanks.”
This person wants to be entertained.
I hate to sound harsh, and I pray you can understand where I’m coming from, but I don’t want to have that person at my show. And if you were to ask a handful of folks that do what I do, most of them would say the same. If you are that person, please don’t come. Believe me, we will both just end up very unhappy.
Now hear me, I’m not the best at what I do. That’s not what this is about. I’m not on a high horse claiming an ability to enlighten you. Lord knows I struggle constantly with my self worth as a writer and performer. The point I’m trying to make is this… Trust me.
Please. Just. Trust. Me.
Trust that I want to be there. Sorry, I NEED to be there. My soul and all my being MUST be there. Trust that I have your interest at heart. Trust that I love what I do so much that I will bleed from my fingers and loose my voice to make sure I deserve to be in that room. Trust that I know it is a privilege to do what I do and that I will never waste a night doing it. Ever. Trust that I feel pain, joy, love, the heaviness of breathing, and that I am doing my best to relay all I know of these things to you. Trust that I care about your life, my life, OUR lives and that I, more than anything, want us to live them in awe.
Please just trust me.
My vision for you and I is that we would grow together. The 20,000 people venues are not in the cards for me. Frankly, I don’t want them to be. I long to sit with a deep, rich, emotional, intelligent audience, and I have found that with you. I hope that you have found that in me. I don’t want to serve you popcorn so please don’t require that of me. If you do I’m afraid that in my weakness I will cave and start serving you popcorn. Then we’ll both be stuck with the same things; shallow writers and even shallower listeners. Let’s not do that to each other.
As always thank you. In this case, for letting me rant. I’ve had a strange week full of strange thoughts. Mostly about us to be honest. I just wanted to write. And maybe through this random rambling we can find that we’re still on the same page. Or at least on the same side of that line. I certainly hope so.
Love always,
David
March 4, 2010
Roll Credits
We started filming in Dallas on February 3rd and now, a month later, we are 5 days away from wrapping. We are 5 days away from completing a shoot for a movie. A movie!! I have a hard time initiating conversation about this film with people because it feels so foreign coming out of my mouth. Not only is the topic hard to discuss but it’s hard to communicate what kind of project we have on our hands.
Hear this: We have an incredible project on our hands.
These boys didn’t just grab a camcorder, write a few lines, beg their friends to speak the lines, and scream action, they actually made a film; an intriguing, beautiful, well directed piece of Cinema.
This wasn’t easy and wasn’t always fun. We all bled for this to be great and now, being over halfway done, our bleeding was not in vain.
My longing in this world is to create. Create beauty, thought, passion, life. Whatever I can get my hands on that will enable me to do these things for myself and for others, I will hold firm to. I’ve been on board many things that have failed. Failed, not from a lack of ability, but from a lack of heart and willingness to make it work. I don’t care what happens with this film in the “big picture” because I know we were a part of a bold beautiful creation. All of our work literally sits well with my soul.
I would like to publicly say “Thank You” to Boy From Mars Films. I’ve had the greatest time with all of you. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me to do this. Not only have I been a part of an incredible film but I’ve made some incredible friends. Keep me in mind for the future. Whatever you need, I’m there.
David
Photo by Paige Newton Photography
RSS feed: http://davidramirez.tumblr.com/rss
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